True Blood – 3×03: Death Becomes Her

This week’s True Blood was… pretty much the same as last week’s True Blood. Sookie looking for missing Bill? Check! Tara all fucked up about Eggs? Check! Bill held captive by the King? Check! Wow, that read like a drunken diner stop with Elvis. Yeah… except that would be a lot more fun.

No Jessica and Hoyt. Booooooo. Lafayette got limited screentime. Eric was badassing it as always but I wish he’d be the one helping Sookie out instead. It’s such a tease because she is never going to have sex with him willingly or leave Bill for him, as in EVER, so I’m not even going to get giddy about their interactions.

Did I call it or did I call it? Jason wants to join the Bon Temps Sheriff’s Department! Is there a better word than cliche? Trite perhaps? Oh man. More proof of the redundancy in conflict is that he keeps seeing people with bullet holes in their foreheads and running the other way. What???? HAHAHAHA. Didn’t he shoot Eggs in the back of the head anyway? Oh and Egg’s funeral… His first name was Benedict? WOW. +1!

I’ve never been able to quite figure Jason Stackhouse out. At first I thought his stupidity mixed with his random acts of humanity and his spurts of instinct made him interesting and now I realize, no, it doesn’t even make him as likeable as Mike Tyson. He’s just not a very well-planned character. There are attempts, I can tell, but they just fall so flat for me. For example, this line from last night’s episode:

There are two kinds of people in this world: People who got no dreams, people who got dreams and don’t do nothing about it, and people who go out and fulfill their dreams. I don’t know about you but I’m the third kind!

Excuse me, if this is the intended audience reaction: “Oh Jason, you’re so silly. Two kinds of people? The third kind? Haha! And yet, hey, what you said was kind of insightful. Hmmm… I like you!” then the writers have underestimated our intelligence more than Eric overestimates Sookie’s (loved when he told her that because, yeah, he does!). I’m dying to know if people have that reaction to him or if they are completely indifferent or hate him or what? It kind of goes with most of these characters. How many of them are truly loveable or even hated for great reasons other than just annoyance? I’ve got Terry, Arlene, Jessica, Hoyt, Lafayette, Sam, Pam, and Eric on my list. Out of like 25 characters or something.

So let’s recap on the few things that happened here which I’m assuming (i.e. hoping) will mean something later:

  • Bill accepted leadership of Mississippi and I missed the reason why… to save Sookie? What was the threat again?
  • Lorena didn’t die… twice. GASP SHOCK and AWE! That Death Becomes Her moment was freaking disgusting. (More on the sex below…)
  • Turns out it was Franklin who took the truck driver’s body from Jessica. Is it just me or does he look possesed? His character was a world of different from talking to Tara post-sex to visiting Jessica and galmouring Tara at Sookie’s house. Maybe it’s just badly acted but I’m not understanding those two scenes.
  • Pam gets a “taste” of the Eastern European dancer at Fangtasia… the lesbians are back! TV needs some better lesbians, and Pam could be promising.
  • Sookie meets some werewolves. For once, I actually enjoyed her sass when she approached them all at the bar playing the “lost little lamb” part. It wasn’t totally stupid because she had a game plan with Alcide (helllloooo nurse!) and it worked. She needs more moments like this one, or like the time last season when she stepped it to Lorena at Godric’s house.
  • Eric gifts Lafayette a sweet new ride… uh oh! I pity Lafayette more than any other character on this show. He’s become a victim but he doesn’t take the victimized role although you can still feel his fear and… I repeat, his torture at the beginning of S2 was the worst of anyone on the show to date.
  • And another episode of ‘Meet The Mickens’ starring Papa Piss-Drunk, Mama Moneybags, and Brother Brat. Explain to me why Sam went to seek these people as if he had a purpose and knowing that they gave him up and were dead broke, yet now he’s suppose to be annoyed at their sudden interest in his life? He asked for it. Not that I’m blaming him because I can understand the desire to seek out your birth parents, but I’m judging the writers. It’s nothing new and puts Sam in a shitty and annoying situation which doesn’t really affect me as a viewer in any significant and interesting way.
  • Arlene and Terry are having a baby. Well, Arlene is anyway. She conceived nine weeks ago so what does that mean? Since every season starts moments after the previous season ended not much time has passed in these people’s lives. Could be as little as a few of months, but I’m not keeping count. Does that mean Arlene could be having killer Rene’s baby? That’s so sad. Poor Terry, he’s so excited! I wish she would have told him because when he finds out he’s going to be devastated: “Thank you for making my life mean something.” OUCH! Salt in the wound why don’t ya?

Okay, I know everyone wants to talk about the final scene… and in typical True Blood form, the most talked-about scenes involve a whole lot of sex. First off, why did he bang her? I’m eternally confused on this point:

“I will NEVAH love you”

…but “P.S. I will fuck your brains out! Oh yes, I’ll even make your head spin.” Then he lets out that blood-curdling scream and jumps off her as if someone made him do it but… it’s sex. I get killing someone, or hitting someone, or lying to someone although you really don’t want to but, fucking someone when you really really REALLY don’t want to? Who does that? The whole 10 seconds that it lasted (come on Bill, that’s all you got?) I was thinking: Wait, is he doing this so he can hold her down long enough to break her neck and kill her? But he didn’t… And it all happened so quickly. Was he trying to kill her but he couldn’t go through with it? He still had sex with her! He’s going to confess to Sookie, for damn sure. What an idiot! Does this mean he’ll give her a freebie to have sex with Eric now? OMG that would be awesome! Too bad she’d never do it “/

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