True Blood – 3×05: Oh the Troubles…

Kill. Tara. Now. How anyone thinks this woman is worthy of watching is beyond me. Even people I know that love True Blood hate her. The horrendous acting, mixed with even more horrendous plotlines does not help the situation. Did you see her chewing off that rope like a retarded mouse? Or her voice when Franklin is choking her in bed? I’m to the point where it makes my skin crawl. Do not be surprised if my True Blood reviews stop soon due to this. Fair warning.

Moving on, this did not keep up with last week’s slightly better pace. Booooo! In fact I’m not even going to get into depth about the same stupid things that just keep growing into more stupidity like Jason’s aspirations to be a Deputy, or Tara and Franklin’s relationship and her possible future as a vampire. There’s no saving that anymore so I’m moving on from it. Therefore this should be fairly short since the amount of good was minimal. At most there were two or three lines that got a good laugh from me and about two or three scenes that made me happy. Absolutely nothing made me excited or scared however, which is a DRAMA’s primary objective.

What happened this week:

  • Bill has been keeping a ‘dossier’ of Sookie and tracing her genealogy. Franklin somehow finds this information (though we never see exactly how, perhaps by digging through his house) and hands it over to Russell. Russell in turn confronts Bill, telling him that it must be due to Sookie’s telepathic abilities that he is so interested in her. Bill denies it but it makes sense… Do you agree?
  • Terry moving in with Arlene was super cute, and that hug with Sam really meant something. “It’s normal! And it’s happening to me!” Yay, Terry! I think even when he finds out that Arlene’s unborn child isn’t his he’ll be fine.
  • In my favorite moment of the episode, Lafayette gets asked out by Jesus (pronounced Hey-Zeus, thankyouverymuch), the nurse from his mother’s clinic. I’m so happy for Lafayette because, as I’ve always insisted, he is the most un-self-victimizing victim on this show. He deserves so much happiness and I really like this guy for him. Obviously some conflict must arise, but I hope that for once its not of the supernatural kind. Great chemistry, by the way!
  • Sookie and Alcide continue to be BFF’s that you secretly want to get together. It was really cute when she insults the hell out of Debbie (with good reason!) in the beginning of the episode until Alcide finally pulls over and she says: “I had to be mean to make you listen. I’m sorry.” Oh, and later when Debbie actually shows up at Alcides place:
  • “You traded this good person who loves you for a shot of V, that burn on your back, and a dumb biker who is half the man and half the wolf Alcide is.” – Sookie

  • ^Well it’s not Emmy-worthy but, what can I say, the bar isn’t set very high when I’m watching.
  • Good thing Eric showed up at the Mississippi mansion early on in the episode and all the cards were laid out on the table. Looks like I misjudged how deep in trouble Russell was after Eric and Pam lied to the Magistral about Bill being behind the V sales last episode because they seem unbothered by it.
  • “Sookie is no longer mine” — Bill says it himself to Eric. Unfortunately by the end of the episode he’s back to saving her and showing to her that he didn’t mean it when he said he didn’t care about her anymore so I’m guessing he’s rescinding that invitation to Eric now.
  • That scene with the Wolf Packmaster was completely unnecessary to the entire show. Honestly just more time wasted because they have such little workable material.
  • Jason Stackhouse and the little blonde girl — God only knows what kind of demon or fairy or goddess this one’s going to turn out to be, and quite honestly God might be the only one that cares, too. I’ve given up all hope in Jason Stackhouse and this ridiculous notion that five minutes after kissing this girl in the woods he’s “too hurt to touch [her]”. Yeah, ooooookay buddy.
  • Sam’s little brother (whose name escapes me at the moment) had the best and funniest line of the episode when he sees Jessica crying over Hoyt and says:
  • “He looks like he got bombed by a bout of radiation on his way to middle school … That’s a huge sixth grader right there.”

  • And speaking of the Mickens family, is it just me or didn’t that scene were Papa Bear storms into Sam’s place and screaming “I own him!!” reek of sexual abuse?? I kind of hope I’m wrong here because I’m not sure what place that would have on a campy show like True Blood but it was probably the only scene that made me WHOA.
  • The last comic line of the episode came at the end when that hick Werewolf comes to Bill and says:
  • “Ha ha ha! Your little Bon Temps hoe is fuckin’ a werewolf right here in Jackson! Suck THAT dick!”

  • Also, we find out that werewolves killed Eric’s family and that whatever werewolf did it, took the crown from his mother’s head and it somehow ended up at the Mississippi Mansion. I assume this to mean that Eric is going to try and find how it got there and kill the werewolf who brought it to the mansion, which should be very interesting since Eric always makes everything so intense.
  • Finally, we have the big moment where Bill finds Sookie and she uses that weird white light from her hands to stun and throw a werewolf across the room. You may recall this from the S2 finale when she does something similar to Mary Anne. At least I think it was her she does it to. I tried to repress any scene with that woman from my mind, sorry.

S0 it looks like from here on in we are going to get a lot more on Sookie and her powers what with the talk of her genealogy and that dossier Bill has kept on her, plus the white light at the end of the episode. Could it be she’s a specific type of phenomena? A friend of mine thinks she’s a fairy of some kind. I just thought she was channeling her Rogue character from X-Men… o_O



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