Dexter – 5×02: Retcon the Kids?

It’s been almost five days since the episode aired so I won’t even attempt at an in-depth review. This will be brief and mainly focusing one one little factor: Astor and Cody gone? Just like that?

Dexter tries to find his next victim’s next victim (Showtime)

Whoa… this was a major major cop out if they stay away. Dexter’s known them for FOUR years and he’s been more of a father to them than that other biological scumbag ever was! They barely know their grandmother (which by the way is a different actress!) and I don’t recall there having been a grandfather ever in the picture. So, double retcon? The simple fact the writers would go as far as retconning the grandparents into existence makes me suspect that perhaps Astor and Cody are truly gone forever…

I don’t watch promos or trailers so I speak from a completely virgin place — and please no spoilers — but I thought this season would be about Dexter finally gaining some stability and the larger challenge of having inherited a family with no mother which would leave much less time for work (and I’m not talking about being a Blood Analyst). I thought this would at last force him to make a real choice instead of splitting all his time up, now with Rita gone. Sure, he’s got Harrison but he’ll probably just find him a babysitter and randomly pop in at night to put him to bed. LAME.

And Astor’s reason for leaving is that Dexter reminds her of the happy times too much? Don’t get me wrong, it’s a brilliant excuse for writers that want to get rid of the kids… but it’s still just a way to write them off instead of sticking with what they got themselves into. Writing off the ENTIRE family is too brutal and too quick of a switch, and has me wondering if the show may not suffer for it. What would Dexter’s conflict be about anymore if he’s got all his free time and space back?

On a brighter note, the writing is pretty funny this season. This week’s episode had more witty one-liners than any other I can recall:

  • “You sure have a lot of beer, Aunt Deb.”
  • “I just ate a whole tuna casserole to make room in the apartment.”
  • “We’re trying to figure out why Trinity may have targeted your wife?” — “Uh……. because he’s a serial killer?”
  • “Someone strangled this raccoon somewhere else and dropped it here.” — “He’s CSI-ing me?”
  • “Alright… we had sex.”

Or how about when Elliot, the neighbor, comes over and starts rambling on about being a single dad, and Dexter drops all the knives on the floor, kneeling there and holding the butcher’s knife up to him as Elliot’s speech goes on and on.

Of course, aside from Dexter, everyone else has got me bored to death. Like, seriously, who cares about LaGuerta’s secret savings fund? HAHAHA. It’s laughable to think anyone would be waiting for next week’s episode just for the continuation of that storyline. I mentioned last week how Dexter’s relationship with Trinity’s family might come back to bite him in the ass and sure enough… sketch art!

Oh yeah, the new bad guy? Is that what he is? His name is Boyd (played by Shawn Hatosy of Southland) and he picks up road kill for a living. Except it appears he also cuts bitches up and dumps them in the everglades. Could there be a link between his victims and the supposedly gang-related murders that Deb and Quinn are investigating? I kind of hope not. They always do that, don’t they? I’m from Miami, and there are not serial killers down there, yet in four years there have been five killers? Come now o_O

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